Helpful Blog Articles
Living alone or feeling lonely – Managing Well-Being during COVID-19
During this pandemic our social relationships have become as important to our physical and mental health. . For a range of circumstances is much more difficult when you live alone, or are feeling lonely due to being apart from your family, friends, and other personal networks, particularly if you’re working from home with limited collegial support. For those who live alone or are feeling lonely and isolated it is important to stay intentionally connected to those you care about and are in your network of supports during periods of isolation. Here are a number small steps you can take to manage how you feel about your situation, and support options available should you need them. 1. Stay...
The real reason we’re all so tired: unpacking video call fatigue and Virtual Communication
“It’s easier being in each other’s presence, or in each other’s absence, than in the constant presence of each other’s absence”. – Gianpiero Petriglieri We are so fortunate technology does such a great job of connecting us when working from home via virtual communication, but it’s also wearing us down.When we converse with more than one other person in real life, we don’t usually stare at all of their faces at once. This prolonged staring isn’t the only reason we’re crumbling into an exhausted heap at the end of our day’s. I’m sure many of you have never been more familiar with the underside of your colleagues’ chin. Working from home has meant we have had to adjust the way we communicate...
Helping children cope through COVID-19
As the weeks are passing, we are in uncertain time for everyone, and children may be impacted by boredom, frustration, fear and anxiety. Here are some tips on how to ensure your children are supported; Give your children extra attention and reassurance. Where possible, minimise their exposure to media and social media that may heighten anxiety. It is important to support them in connecting with their friends through phone calls, texting, video chats, social media. Acknowledge your own feelings about the situation and let children know it’s okay to share their own feelings. Include your children in plans and activities around the house. If you are concerned, seek professional help (earlier...
Strategies to Help You Manage the Stress in a Crisis
Immediately after a serious disaster, you may experience a range of thoughts, feelings and behaviour that can be intense, confusing and frightening. These are common reactions to an extraordinary situation. Most people recover after disasters by drawing on their own strengths and the support of others, and most will gradually rebuild their lives and achieve a sense of well-being again. Firstly, what is a normal reactions to a crisis • Feeling overwhelmed • Feeling numb and detached • Inability to focus • Inability to plan ahead • Constant tearfulness • Intrusive memories or bad dreams related to the event • Sleep disturbances • Constant questioning – "What if I had done x, y or z,...
Survivors’ Guilt
What is survivors guilt? On a basic level, survivor guilt is a sense of deep guilt that comes when one survives something. Survivor guilt is common for survivors of wars, natural disasters or other traumas. Survivor guilt was actually first documented and discussed after the Holocaust and has since become recognised as far more common than was initially understood. It is a common reaction to traumatic events and a symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Some of the familiar circumstances one experience survivor guilt are: After surviving war Surviving an accident Surviving natural disaster Surviving an act of violence So many experiencing survivor guilt struggle to understand why...
Do you know how to Stop!
We are so busy in our lives these. I often wonder if many of us have forgotten what is like to simply stop. What would happen if you actually stopped still for 10min? Stop for a moment. Stop scrolling, Stop stressing about the next thing you have to do. Stop doing and just be. If you are curious to find out, dare yourself take a deep breath and “stop” then simply notice what happens next. Does it feel comfortable or uncomfortable? How long are able to stop before it becomes uncomfortable. Two days ago the challenge was put out there to see what happens when you stop for 10 min in your busy life. Did you discover you have forgotten what is like to simply stop? What happened when you...
WHAT DOES TRUE LOVE LOOK LIKE?
How often do we get caught up in the fantasy of what true love would look like. In your head does it look like the movies? Romantic, beautiful date nights at a fancy candle-lit restaurant by the water. Walking along holding hands while looking into their smiling, doey eyes? After 17 years as a relationship counsellor, here are some examples of what I think true love really looks like. It is knowing you have someone in your corner, no matter what. It is having that special person that you can share with after a bad day or a good day. It’s having someone to ask every day of your life, “What do you want for dinner?” It’s someone to console you after you accidental incident. It’s laughing over...
Mindful Stillness and Healing
Recently through these posts the question has been "do you know how to stop" or do you create busyness to avoid being still? Some have questioned back 'why would I want to stop, it is too difficult'. We all go through tough times. We all have emotions, thoughts and life experiences that are uncomfortable or even painful that we would rather not feel or know about. Yet, for each of to 'know' what you are personally going through, what you are experiencing you need to be open 'to be with' what is happening inside of you, sit with it, hold it, and, in some sense, to befriend it, that is where the healing or transformative power lies in the practice of mindful awareness. Mindfulness is simply...
10 Principles to Guide Children Without Shaming Them
Principle 1 Connection and compassion is the secret Remember that connection and compassion is the secret that helps children WANT to follow your lead. We only have influence with our child when they feel connected to us. They only feel connected when they feel seen and understood, when we respond with compassion and acceptance instead of shaming disapproval and judgement. Compassion and kindness isn't only for your child. It starts with yourself. You can’t be a loving parent if you’re feeling bad about yourself, any more than your child can act “right” if they feel bad about themselves. When all else fails, make yourself a cuppa, give yourself a big hug and remember you can hit the reset...
Signs That A Child May Have Been Sexually Abused
It’s not always easy to spot sexual abuse because perpetrators often take steps to hide their actions. Some signs are easier to spot than others. For instance, some warning signs might be noticed by a caretaker or parent, and are often red flags that the child needs medical attention. LISTEN to your instincts. If you notice something that isn’t right or someone is making you uncomfortable—even if you can’t put your finger on why—it’s important to talk to the child. Child sexual abuse can include sexual contact with a child, but it may also include other actions, like exposing oneself, sharing obscene images, or taking inappropriate photos or videos of a child. These crimes can have a...
Recognising How a Natural Disasters Impacts
While so many Australian's are still actively waiting, watching, fighting to protect their homes, preparing to leave or have already left their homes, their are also many who are now past the immediate crisis and are feeling overwhelmed and displaced as they now enter the recovery stage. You all remain in our thoughts and prayers as this crisis continues. Natural disasters like bushfires, floods, cyclones, drought and other traumatic ‘natural’ events are extremely challenging for the people directly affected. Traumatic impact is caused by ongoing, relentless stresses. Exposure to such a traumatic event is more prone to leave an individual with longer-lasting emotional and psychological...
Our Nation is on Fire
As a nation, we are experiencing many emotions. Whether directly or indirectly we have all been impacted by the devastating drought & now these unrelenting fires. Like many others, I have friends and friends with family that have been evacuated and don't know if they will have their home to return to at the end of the day. This is very traumatic for them, waiting and not knowing. These protracted dealings with such a pervasive experience of these unpredictable natural disasters constitute a national crisis that is traumatic both for those directly impacted and indirectly. As such they bring high levels of stress as a by-product and can sometimes feel nearly unmanageable. Here are some...
When Christmas is Difficult
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! It is! Christmas for many is a time of family, love and celebrating time together. Because the marketing and song says so, right? But maybe you are thinking I just don’t feel it — not the joy, the merry this and that, the excitement and anticipation, the pleasure of decorating and gift exchanges, not the big family parties and all the other festive commitments. This writer knows first hand what this can feel like. I feel it is important to take a moment to acknowledge that Christmas for some is a time of year that brings more than the usual stress, it can also bring grief. For some, as much as you try to fake it, keep a good attitude and put on a...
Facts And Myths About Child Sexual Abuse
Myth: Children fantasise and lie about child sexual abuse. Fact: Children rarely lie about or imagine sexual abuse. Studies have shown that in more than ninety-four percent of cases children’s reports of child sexual abuse have been confirmed by independent investigations. Children are often reluctant to fully describe what has happened to them. Myth: The stranger is the danger. Fact: Children are often warned not to talk to strangers in the hope that this will protect them from child sexual abuse. However, children are more likely to be sexually abused by people they know. An Australian study of tertiary students found that only twenty-six percent of those who were sexually abused were...
Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing Training
What an amazing 3 days I just had completing EMDR training with 2 wonderful colleagues Zoe & Matt. I'm very excited to be able to offer this therapy to further help clients find relief from past unresolved issues which cause distress, anxiety and experience intrusive negative thoughts. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) therapy is an interactive psychotherapy technique used to relieve psychological stress. It is an effective treatment for trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) EMDR is particularly effective in treating post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD often occurs after experiences such an abuse, childhood trauma, physical assault, rape, car...
Relationship Life-Cycle
Relationship Life-Cycle I had been explaining the Relationship Life-cycle to a client who has since requested I write this up so this information she could share it. I'll try to not make it too long and I trust you find it helpful. This is info I would love every couple considering entering or are in a committed relationship knew about Relationship Life-cycles.Cycles I often have couples come in for counselling who feel or describe their relationship as having stagnated (not a word they would use) or is all but over. In listening to many couples talk about their relationship what I often hear is they are experiencing a normal "relationship life-cycle junction" but they don't realise it....
Children Learn What They Live
Most parents who look into the eyes of their new baby see whatever lies ahead as a clean slate. Yet attachment research tells us that the biggest predictor of how we will perform as parents is how much we’ve been able to make sense out of our own past. So, while the last place we may look when we become parents is our own childhood, we should do so if we want to be better present-day parents to our children. Even though what happened to us in childhood shows up in our parenting, this doesn’t mean we are doomed to repeat the mistakes of our parents. In fact, no matter what distress or even trauma we endured in early life, what matters most is how much we’ve been able to feel the full pain...
Looking after your mental health this holiday season
Finding ways to look after yourself at Christmas can help you stay healthy and happy throughout the holidays. Whilst the festive season can be a time of fun and frivolity, it can also take its toll on your mental health. Spending time with or without family and friends can be more stressful than day-to-day life.with financial stresses, full diaries and long to-do lists that for some can seem overwhelming. Follow these tips to help you take care of your mental well-being during the holidays. Recognise stress Ongoing prolonged stress or anxiety isn’t normal. Even if it seems like everyone around you is a little bit on edge at Christmas time, don't ignore how you are felling. Stress can...
Understanding Autism Spectrum Disorder
It affects how they make sense of the world. Autism is a developmental condition that is typically life-long. People with ASD experience difficulties with communication, social interaction and restricted/repetitive interests and behaviours. https://www.autismawareness.com.au/co…/understanding-autism/
Are you Compatible or Being Compliant?
Healthy V Abusive / Toxic Relationship If you are or you’ve ever been in an unhealthy or toxic relationship, you know how devastating the impact that experience has on your own self-esteem and how difficult it can be to break away from that kind of dysfunctional dynamic. This video will help you consider if you are prone to being "compliant" which has mistakenly led you to think you are compatible? Does your voice have a respected place in the relationship? Should you need further resources and counselling don't hesitate to message me. If you would like a checklist for "What is a Healthy Relationship" message me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fn8Av478FHw